Category: Reflection

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Grateful for Grace

On the eve of Thanksgiving here in the States, naturally I am thinking of gratitude. That said, gratitude is not just for Thanksgiving. Many people have a daily gratitude practice, either journaling what they are grateful for or taking time to reflect on gratitude. This practice is said to have numerous profound benefits, including making us happier, healthier, more spiritual and better sleepers. For a complete list, visit the Happier Human website.

That’s good news, but a few other things caught my attention on the subject recently, including a suggestion from an online astrologer–yes, an astrologer–“to give thanks for what once may have seemed to be a liability or problem.” Now that’s something to think about.

Elizabeth Briel, in A Book of Grace-Filled Days (2013), for November 23, writes:

I will give thanks to you, O Lord, with all my heart – Psalm 9:2
Note how often the whole heart is referenced in Scripture. This implies that nothing is held back, that no part is hidden or kept to oneself. Are there parts of me I am trying to hide and control? Are there aspects of my life for which I resist God’s healing touch?

Could it be that the parts of ourselves that we most ignore or try to hide or control are the parts that most deserve our attention, gratitude and perhaps our forgiveness? That requires an openness, an invitation to grace. Grace is a mysterious gift, never unwelcome, often bestowed when we least expect it. It is not the nature of grace to always be direct or obvious; sometimes it is the opposite of what we think we know or what we expect or desire.

I am thankful for much, including and especially medical professionals and caregivers, and for the grace-filled people in every single service industry. But I am also grateful for the grace that has come my way in unexpected packages, for sorrows that I hope make space for deeper compassion and for a light that somehow refuses to be snuffed regardless of the weight of our world.

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The Sound of Silence

Growing up in the Midwest, I learned at a young age that eerie outdoor silence is nature’s harbinger of severe weather–calm before the storm. The wind might kick up a little, but the birds and animals are keeping quiet vigil in their safe houses. Recent events have me asking myself, why didn’t I hear the silence before the storms?

Silence, it could be said, has a multiple personality disorder. Silence can be a warning, yes, but it can also be an emotional weapon—the silent treatment—a passive aggressive punishment. And silence can be a sign of depression, ennui or a certain kind of impotence—an inability or unwillingness to take action. Silence exerts power, significance and solemnity when she walks or sits in silent protest.

I’m a big fan of the good silences. I know that when I practice meditation it makes me calmer and clearer. There is peace in silence when you can find a sliver. I also believe an intentional moment of silence alone or with a group holding vigil is holy, and a way of radiating peaceful, positive energy to salve the crackling rage and violence that is smoldering just below the surface all around us ready to conflagrate anywhere at any time like it did in Las Vegas.

It has become a tradition for US lawmakers to hold just that kind of moment of silence after a major tragedy. Some of the Democratic lawmakers refused to partake in the ritual after the mass murder in Nevada stating it was not enough anymore. Several social justice groups and individuals also made that declaration. What we need is action, not silence, on gun control and not just on bump stocks and other similar devices, though that’s being touted as the first step toward “real” gun control legislation.  How long will that take? And how many more silenced lives?

Gun control is a particularly divisive issue in the US; the UK took further legislative action in 1997 after the Dunblane massacre of the previous year.  Here we have massacre after massacre and still cannot kick our addiction to guns and violence.

We need the silence of contemplation and the rational, just action that arises from it en masse.  Because more storms are coming, and we have run out of safe houses.

Some sites to check out if you wish to become more involved:

The Coalition to Stop Gun Violence

Women Against Gun Violence

The Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence

Every Town for Gun Safety

 

 

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I See You

Many of John Kingham’s words give me pause. We live in vastly different worlds, he and I; John is an inmate locked up in Florida, while I am living freely in New Jersey, too often taking for granted the privileges that come with my freedom.

I was first introduced to John when he wrote to Sister Sheila about Living Peace, among other things. He is a subscriber to Living Peace through Sisters Janet and Rosalie, mentors and companions to him. I shared that first letter to Sister Sheila with the Living Peace editorial board, and we decided to invite John to write an article about his experience of starting a Zen sangha in prison.

When I sent him the proof copy of his article, he wrote back to tell me how excited he was to see his words in print. He was grateful for the opportunity to be heard, mentioning in a matter-of-fact, not complaining way, that life in prison reduced one to a dehumanizing anonymity where the inmate is not heard, seen or noted. “One of the more potent insults is I don’t see you.”

I received that letter just a few days after the eclipse. Someone I was watching with commented on how that event was so uplifting and unifying here in the States. Indeed, while nature is screaming her pain through hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, droughts and wildfires, her beauty and rhythms go on (so far) in spite of our abuse. Apart from being a spectacular natural event, the eclipse was a reminder that the most important things–the sun, the moon, the stars, our essence, our center, our strength–cannot be taken from us.

I doubt John or his fellow inmates were out in the yard viewing the eclipse with a pair of special glasses.  But  it took a lot of dark hours locked away for him to shed light on his spirit and then learn how to stay centered in unforgiving circumstances.

It’s easy to forget about the populations we cannot see, convenient to judge or dismiss them. There is no requirement that we believe in the ability to transform, but so much that is worthwhile and gratifying is born of an effort to change or to help others do so. A heart permanently eclipsed by an inability to see might just be a heart in need of some special glasses.

You can read John’s article, “A Field of Future Buddhas Waiting to Bloom” in the latest issue of Living Peace.

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Go Ahead and Gorge

When inspiration and creativity seem like close friends who have moved far away, my world can get a little gray. I’ve learned, however, I will eventually find my way out of the Chinese box through art in one of its many forms.  After five episodes of David Gelb’s captivating series, “Chef’s Table,” I can feel my close friends returning. Gelb profiles some of the most renowned chefs in the world who share wonderful life lessons garnered on their journeys to becoming who they are–not necessarily new lessons–but refreshing reminders with a twist from world-class chefs. You do not have to be a foodie to appreciate what’s being served here.

Niki Nakayama is a master at modern kaiseki, a Japanese multicourse meal rooted in ancient eastern philosophies of being in harmony with nature. Nakayama fought long-held gender biases in her country and her field to reach her level of success. Not comfortable making loud, bold statements in her life, she values those expressions in her cooking–breaking rules, aggressive flavor combinations, carving her own path. She learned the importance of trusting herself, knowing when to let go in order to regain the spark of passion in her work.

All of the chefs have experienced failure. There is a common understanding that growth does not take place on a secure path, hence there is a willingness to take risks and to reinvent and change course in order to succeed. Dedication, perseverance and being true to oneself are common themes among these master chefs who create dishes that not only look like works of art but carry appellations like the Industrious Beet, and King George Whiting in Paperbark, and Oops! I Dropped the Lemon Tart.

Respect for ingredients is both mandatory and part of the joy of the art. Dan Barber of Blue Hill, a restaurant in New York, has devoted himself to sustainable cooking, working with growers to provide the most flavorful ingredients, while tending to care of the planet.

Teamwork is another echo in these profiles. To a one, these culinary geniuses value her or his team and the symphony of collaboration in the making of something amazing.

Stating the obvious, creativity is more than a required riff among these chefs. It is the essence of everything they are doing. They draw inspiration from other art. There is talk of cooking being soulful, as well as rooted in childhood experiences and memories, evoking scent, flavor and comfort from those years. The chefs strive to create unforgettable, unparalleled experiences for their guests, conjuring magic in explosions of joy and flavor.

As the imagination runs wild and the mouth waters seeing these chefs’ delectable dishes, the spirit is quenched and awoken by their passion. I am reminded anew that creativity is where life meets the divine and where we live in the moment. Inspiration is sparked by curiosity, our experiences and the amazing creation all around us, including that which feeds us, literally and figuratively. The supply is limitless. So go ahead and gorge; it’s also calorie-free.

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Wonder Woman

I write this the day after another terrorist attack in London that left seven dead and over 40 injured. The country has not had time to heal from the Manchester bombing a few short weeks ago. On the way home this morning I listened to a discussion on the radio about the racially motivated stabbing attacks on a train in Portland, Oregon. The two men who tried to intervene were murdered. It’s three days since President Trump decided to withdraw from the Paris Climate Change agreement.

In his New Yorker article, “One Hundred Days of Trump,” David Remnick writes: “For most people, the luxury of living in a relatively stable democracy is the luxury of not following politics with a nerve-racked constancy.” Indeed, I’m not the sort who relishes politics. I try to pay attention and do my civic duty, but I confess I’d much rather stare at a drifty bunch of puffy cumulus clouds and ponder imaginary worlds populated by fictional characters, characters whose actions I can control.

Alas, as Remnick suggests, the times we are living in do not allow for many breaks from the news. And yes, this is different. We are in deep, uncharted waters. While the temptation is strong to look away, numb-out or cocoon ourselves, left unchecked, those actions can be dangerous. With 55% voter turnout in the last US presidential election, passivity is part of what got us here.

With each eye-popping headline, with each thread pulled that unravels our democracy a little more, there’s a growing and palpable sense of frustration and helplessness about how to stop it all before it’s too late. What can we do? How do we prepare for what will be a long haul? It may sound simplistic, idealistic or twee, but the opposite of fear and hate is love.

Love is bold and fierce. Love is not passive. Love takes action in order to grow, thrive and win the day. She is the most powerful life force, the force we need to deploy. She votes and gets others out to vote. Love stands up to inhumanity and violence. Love does not hide away.  She bands together on the streets with more love. She connects with family, friends and community. She catches her friends who are fearful and faltering and in turn, she allows us to lean on them.  She shows up where no one dares to tread. Love does not give in or give up. No. She doubles down, recommits and turns up the wattage. We are here to be the conduits and bearers of that wattage. Wonder Woman? You bet.

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Cain Is Abel

For many years now I have walked through the woods on the cliff along a dirt path to a clearing near the George Washington Bridge where the view turns decidedly urban. To the south is the Manhattan skyline—inviting, intimidating, energizing and enervating all at once. The bridge itself is also impressive. About 500 feet shy of a mile, the double-decker, 14 lane suspension bridge carries over 100 million vehicles a year. From my perch at the west side of the GWB, I can see many of those cars and trucks crossing.

It has long been a silly game of mine to read the signs on the trucks and find a takeaway from the oracle of the GW Bridge. I might get a message right away, or I might have to watch dozens of trucks. Shred It. No. Budweiser: King of Beers. I don’t think so. White Rose: You deserve the best. Yes! More than once, I’ve been captivated by the tagline on a logistics company truck: Kane Is Able.

I saw a Kane truck not long after I read about the suicide of 27-year-old Aaron Hernandez, the once promising pro football player turned convicted murderer. On a larger scale, it made me think of the wars ongoing and those that seem to be looming too close on the horizon, of the immigrants and of all of the displaced and how divided we are in our stances. The erosion of democracy is a real threat in places we never thought it would be. On the heels of the Climate Change march, I think of the ways we have collectively abused and continue to abuse our Mother Earth and how some still don’t believe global warming is real. Civil rights, basic human rights and the sanctity of life all hang in the balance.

It is uniquely human that we have the ability to make choices and to take sides. The danger is in feeling too righteous about the sides we’ve chosen, leaving us stranded on islands without bridges. Each side couches their differences as moral outrage, and I struggle with the idea that the middle ground seems to have gone so far underground as to be nonexistent. We are living in a world of wild extremes. Islands.

The peacemaker George Mitchell said: “There’s no such thing as a conflict that cannot be ended. Conflicts are created, conducted and sustained by human beings. They can be ended by human beings.”  Desmond Tutu said: “If you want peace, you don’t talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies.” Is Cain able?

 

 

There is the mud, and there is the lotus that grows out of the mud. We need the mud in order to make the lotus. –Thich Nhat Hanh

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In the Nick of Time

Though relatively mild, this past winter seemed particularly long. There was much tussling with unwelcome thoughts and feelings, and I found myself a bit desperate for distractions from my jagged, dark edges. Up cropped a familiar longing to flee and the just as familiar resignation that there is nowhere to run from yourself. But a gal can try, can’t she? Let the great escape begin!

Turns out it’s a good thing I missed Sherlock, featuring Benedict Cumberbatch as Holmes when it aired on PBS several years ago, because it’s now available on Netflix and has been an ace distraction. Sherlock’s cool, observant, fact-deducing personality, void of the messy business of emotions and relationships and the attachments borne of the two, has been like a cool bath to a fevered spirit.

On the other end of escapist spectrum, I tuned into the film Innsaei (in-sī-ā). Innsaei is an ancient Icelandic word meaning intuition. The more poetic and fuller definition is the sea within. The documentary explores intuition and the connectedness of all of life and argues that we have lost touch with the sensory, and as a result, so much more.

The film reminded me that only a small portion of the mind is conscious. Estimates range from between two and 10 percent, leaning toward the low end of that range. This means there is roughly 95% that is unconscious, the busy underground dwelling place of spirituality, dreams, intuition, imagination, synchronicity, and yes, emotions. I wonder what Sherlock would make of that?

Sometimes it’s hard to escape the mighty pull of the five percent. The mind is a fierce competitor, especially in our modern world with so much vying for our attention. And there are times when it is equally hard to strike a healthy balance with the 95 percent, often leading to a tenacious, wincing match of championship rounds between the two. Usually, like the winter, the match does end. We take off our gloves. We find another distraction. We see light. In sashays the lengthening of days crossing through the equinox and not looking back. Up rises the sun like a brilliant orange host breaking through the darkness, casting uneven flowing patterns of sparkling light across the water, beauty and sustenance for the weary mind and the parched spirit. Just in the nick of time.

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Imagination Is More Important than Knowledge

The Cloisters Museum and Gardens is a branch of the Metropolitan Museum of Art devoted to medieval art and architecture. In addition to the gardens, one of their most popular permanent exhibits is The Hunt of the Unicorn tapestries, consisting of seven large tapestries woven in the late 15th/early 16th century. They depict a hunt which ends with the precious unicorn in captivity. The unicorn is a legendary creature said to have been endowed with magical powers such as the ability to purify water and heal sickness.

Whose vivid imagination created this mystical being and whose the story? What inspired it? Who designed and wove the tapestries–stunning in their size, color and detail, rich with symbolism? Whence does the gift of imagination spring?

Imagination is the bohemian twin of Intuition. She takes her sister’s hunches and runs with them.  She is comfortable at play in every conceivable arena as well as those not yet conceived. She gave Franz Kafka Metamorphosis wherein Gregor Samsa wakes up to discover he’s turned into a gigantic insect. JK Rowling conjured an alternate world inhabited by Harry Potter and other wizards. In Life of Pi Yann Martel breathes life into the story of an Indian boy stranded on the ocean with a Bengal tiger. Imagination is what allows the reader to plunge headlong into these stories in a willing, thrilling suspension of disbelief. She is the fertile field with no visible boundaries that produces art, literature, music, film, ideas, innovations, inventions, dreams, solutions, recipes and so much more.

Like all divine energy, when imagination is lacking, life becomes diminished and drab. Without it, we can feel stuck or trapped, wandering around in a dark interior unable to find the passage to light. Hopeless. Possibly this is the darker, bleaker side of imagination. And if you find yourself or someone you know there, it’s worth attempting a jump-start back to the lighter side through art, nature or any creative endeavor.

Albert Einstein said: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.”

Imagine that!

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A Mysterious Country

On Sunday I found a bird in the backyard trying to fly but caught in something that kept pulling her back to the ground. Initially it looked like fishing line, but when I got closer I could see it was some sort of vine, dry but very strong. I got some scissors to cut her free, but she was so frightened she kept trying to lift-off, and I was unable to cut as close to her foot as I would have liked. Still, I got the vine cut and on her first attempt she hopped-flew just a short distance, so I tried to get closer again, but then she took flight, trailing six inches of vine still wrapped on her leg.

I have a friend who has a broken heart, which in turn makes all the hearts close to her ache a little. We want to make it better. My friend is like the ensnared bird wanting to fly again but unable to move more than a short distance from the ground. When she is able to break free of the vine she is entangled in, it’s likely a piece of it will still be wrapped around her, a piece she will have to carry, altering her pattern of flight for a while, perhaps even permanently.

The heart is a mysterious country with a varied landscape and a language all its own. Our sacred contract to life means we’ve committed to experience all the heart brings from the giddy highs of unexpected love to the crippling lows of heartache. Our family and friends can distract us from a broken heart, maybe even soothe it, but the mending of it is a holy process done in conclaves in the private rooms of that same heart with a brigade of angels catching tears, snipping vines, returning us to flight.

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Stay Woke

The older I get, the less in touch I am with latest lexicon of street slang. I only first heard the phrase “stay woke” when I attended the Martin Luther King Day event at Riverside Church.

For those who don’t know, “stay woke” means to stay informed and conscious in turbulent times and to be vigilant about and critical of the media machine and the establishment and ready to act. The phrase first gained traction in the African American community after the police shooting of Michael Brown in Ferguson, Missouri. When I heard it, it quickly gained traction in my heart and soul, reverberating there like a drumbeat and repeating in my mind like a mantra.

That mantra thrummed in me on my way to Washington, DC where on January 21st I joined friends, and what globally turned out to be millions of others, for the Women’s March. Claustrophobic as I am, it was good to be among so many like-minded people, walking, talking, laughing and standing in solidarity.

I spend a good deal of my energy these days trying to understand what happened in our country, what is currently happening here, and what might happen here, how we affect other countries, as well as trying to figure out when and how to respond. I wonder if the endless online petitions I’m signing (slacktivism) and the ongoing protests are making a difference.

I’ve been doing a little reading on that subject (The Washington Post, Vox, and others) and while there is some disagreement about the efficacy of those actions, most of the articles I read claim that slacktivism and protests do work with varying degrees of success. They raise awareness and deepen understanding. They show commitment and foster activism.  It takes time to know their impact. They give hope. The spontaneous protests in response to the immigration ban were heartening, as were the responses by judges, attorneys general and mayors of major cities. But now we have the so-called “routine” raids targeting undocumented immigrants. With each heartening act it seems there is an equally disheartening one that tests our resolve and challenges us every day to find new ways to recommit to what is just.

Brexit and the election of Donald Trump by the Electoral College were choices driven by fear. Those of us who did not agree with the outcomes are now living in fear of the ramifications. The harmful effects of the energy pollution of that collective fear are impossible to know or predict but I believe very real.

What makes fear recede? Breath. Hope. Light. Laughter. Sight. Action. Huddling together. Living life. Remember how turning on the light when you were a child and afraid of the dark made the fear go away? Turn on the light. Stay woke. Stay woke. Stay woke.